Whether you’re hiring an employee, selecting a romantic partner, making a new friend, or evaluating any potential relationship, it would benefit you in the long run to assess your most critical personal attribute: character.
Don’t take a person simply at their word, or for what they say they are. Check the integrity. Do the words match the actions? Are they trying too hard to convince you (or themselves) how cool they are? Do they show good will? Do your motives seem selfish or considerate? Do they tend to be coercive or respectful? Reflect on each of these questions one at a time and feel the truth of each answer.
When making a new friend, take it easy. It’s great to have company, but pay attention to see if the conversations are balanced. Do they spend as much time listening to you as talking? Are they “takers” who take all they can get and give very little? Are they trying to present an image trying to be impressive or are they being truly authentic? Do they have good values? Do they care about others, or just those from whom they are trying to get something? People with good character show it in their actions, words to puff up are not necessary.
Certainly, if you’re hiring for a skilled, specialized position, credentials and experience are required. You can, however, get the smartest person with excellent credentials, but if he doesn’t have good character and good will, it can potentially cost more heartache and money than it can produce in the form of beneficial contributions. Emotional intelligence includes good character, intelligence, common sense, empathy, and wisdom. Find out what their values are, what matters most to them. Ask high-level questions that are related to character, such as: “If you could improve one thing in the world, what would it be?”
Discernment is the requirement of the hour. Discernment is making wise decisions based on conscience. Instinct is involved. It is imperative in these times of transition and transformation to use your instincts and inner sensory perceptions to make decisions. Know what your internal signals of truth are. Know what truth and integrity feel like in your body.
If you have existing relationships that are not working for your highest good and happiness, it will be wise to consider what character traits have been demonstrated. Do they take into account other points of view? Are they critical? Do they always need to be right? Do you get pressured in a conversation to the point where you just give up to experience peace? Do they know all the answers about how you should live or solve your problems? Are they trying to force their value system on you? Do they use fear or some other type of manipulation in an attempt to control your choices?
Or do they come from the heart, with an open mind, willing to listen to your feelings and points of view? Do they care how you feel? Do they support your decisions? Are they as loyal to your concerns and interests as they are to their own? Are they helpful, generous, kind, and easy to get along with? Do they accept your values? Do they support your decisions?
It’s your life. Your choices count a lot in what you experience. It is time to tune in to your heart and follow its guidance as you navigate through these turbulent times. You will be much happier, more peaceful, and more successful as you carefully select who will be or remain in your life.