We all know that human beings are gregarious by nature. Due to this nature of ours, social life has an immense infusion in our individual life. Perhaps that is why the great Greek philosopher Aristotle affirms that man is a social animal. Now, friendship, if we contemplate it more thoroughly, is an indispensable reality of social life. In this short article, my goal is to provide a general idea of what true friendship is, along with its importance and benefits.
Denis Diderot, in his encyclopedia, defines friendship as “commerce (with someone) in which the heart is interested in the pleasure derived from it.” Diderot further posits that commerce involving the pure mind rather than the heart is knowledge, not friendship. I would like to add a point to your statement. According to him, the heart captures the interest in the “pleasure” that derives from friendship. Seeking only pleasure in friendship seems quite self-centered and unoriginal. Furthermore, the source of affection and love between people, other than that of relatives, cannot be based simply on pleasure. However, the truth is that when the heart finds interest in the “virtues of the neighbor”, it is true friendship. Pleasure, that is, is one of the many influential results of a faithful relationship.
Many have also questioned the durability of friendships; How long is a friendship between individuals estimated to last, in relation to various circumstances? The length of time of a general friendship is considered to depend on multiple factors such as the intensity of the bond, age, home, etc. Despite this information, I personally believe that a true friendship has no end, or more specifically, it has eternal memories; both happy and sad. In some cases, friends may not be practically together due to the remoteness of the residence and / or excessive work effort. Yet again and again, a part of their hearts resonates with mutual affection; they are present in the hearts of others. Now, I would invite readers to pay attention to the benefits of being under this umbrella of true love and source of everlasting memories.
Friendship benefits
For quite some time, psychologists and researchers were tempted to discover the benefits of friendship. Although exploration still continues on the subject in an enormous amount, so far, tons of studies and programs have declared that friendship “improves life” (1). On the contrary, the absence of friendship, or to put it simply; loneliness is considered detrimental to physical and mental health. The question is, in what aspects of life and health does friendship influence, so that we call it “life improvement”? Let’s explore the answer.
Conventional intelligence believes; friendships increase the individual’s sense of happiness. Happiness, in turn, has a host of positive biological and psychological impacts. For example, according to the research of Kira M. Newman, writer and editor, happiness consistently protects the heart, strengthens the immune system, decreases stress, fights disease and disability, and increases longevity. A couple of other potential benefits of friendships, proposed by many researchers, include the opportunity to learn about empathy and problem solving. Also, in front of friends, a person feels comfortable with his personal identity and innate habits. Such a comfortable zone directs the person towards the absence of pressure; rather, it contributes to self-confidence and social development.
What’s more, true friends are selfless and support their fellow friends in difficult times. They can act as a source of motivation for each other, regarding life’s difficulties. A Mayo Clinic report parallels the prescription: Friendships “increase your sense of belonging and purpose”; they also “help you cope with trauma, such as divorce, serious illness, job loss, or the death of a loved one.” Therefore, it can be recognized that friendships are also very effective for the emotional dimension of human beings.
Conflicts in friendship
Also in friendships, as in any other relationship, the people involved can fight, from time to time. These disputes are temporary and fade with the warmth of mutual affection and understanding between true friends. However, a lack of knowledge or productive efforts can also exacerbate the situation. Therefore, it is advisable to explore the basis of these confrontations to prevent them in the first place. Sufficient knowledge on the subject can also help the person to distinguish his true friends from the false ones. Under this section, I support (and clarify) the reasons for conflict in friendships on three main bases; triviality, external fundamentals and communication gaps.
First, disputes can arise when a person involved takes a trivial, intentional or unintentional approach to friendship. A trivial approach, technically, refers to expressing insignificance in friendship or not taking responsibility for being a friend sincerely. This may be due to a lack of knowledge about the role of responsibility in friendship on the part of the person (unintentional) or deliberate reasons (intentional), leading to the warning of a false friend. The unintentional case usually affects the younger age groups of society. Note the insightful words of Khalil Gibran on this matter: “Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity” (2). It is noteworthy, responsibility in friendship is never burdensome, for this reason, Mr. Gibran uses the word “sweet” rather than responsibility to set aside any kind of misleading interpretation.
Second, a third party aims to endanger the friendship between people, out of hatred or out of his own personal interest. Assuming a motive, loyalty and honest communication between friends are the best remedies to thwart any wicked intervention.
Finally, gaps in communication occur when the recipient does not understand the message that the speaker intends to convey. The reason behind this, as the name suggests, is poor communication. In friendships, this leads to misunderstandings and therefore negative estimates about the partner. The solution to the problem lies in the communication itself. Honest and open communication, or technically, effective communication skills, can ultimately close communication gaps and reduce the likelihood of their proliferation.
To conclude, friendship is an amazing gift of life and something special; one that consistently benefits friends socially and mentally, and in another sense, psychologically strengthens your willpower to live life with confidence and optimism, regardless of the circumstances. Obviously true friendship demands certain responsibilities at times, however one should always remember that such responsibilities are “sweet”, eventually resulting in the creation of timeless and pleasant memories! And once these memories are implanted in the brain, they somehow find a way to make the flower of love bloom in hearts. So I think we can interpret friendship as a “bridge between hearts”, don’t you agree?
References
1. Telfer, E., 1970-71, “Friendship”, Proceedings of the Aristotelian Society, 71: 223-41.
2. “Khalil Gibran Quotes”. BrainyQuote. Np, 2016. Web. September 20, 2016.