There will be days in the life of a married couple when they question whether they should move on or separate. Sometimes these thoughts are temporary and are the byproduct of a rather spirited argument that got out of control when insults began to be thrown at each other. Other times, the desire to end the marriage is based on longstanding frustration or dissatisfaction with the relationship as a whole. When a couple finds the emotional courage to tell their spouse that they are no longer happy, two things can actually happen. Either the couple agrees to separate for a while, or the person who is told by their partner that the marriage is over will react badly. If you are a husband and your wife recently told you that she would like to spend some time away from the marriage, you may have fallen into the category of an involuntary participant in a separation. If that sounds like you, you need to consider what’s best not only for your marriage, but also for you and your wife as individuals.
It is part of human nature to want to protect the things that are of vital importance to you. That is why when the subject of your marriage breaking up comes up, you react in a way that suggests to your wife that you will have nothing to do with it. You may have stormed out of her room at the mere mention of a temporary separation, or maybe you told her you can’t live without her in an effort to blame her into reconsidering. Regardless of the approach you decided to take, ultimately your wife now sees that you are ready, willing, and emotionally capable of fighting for your marriage. That’s romantic in theory, but right now your wife isn’t looking to you to play Prince Charming, she just wants you to understand her needs and help her meet them.
Taking time away from each other may seem like a relationship failure on the surface. That’s not what it is at all. In fact, it can be the mature way to regain focus and reconnect on an emotional level. It’s often hard to see the good in a person when you’re always in a negative place. If you and your wife have reached a point in your marriage where arguing is par for the course, staying the same is not going to work for any kind of positive change. They’ll continue to argue, the tension will build, and eventually they’ll both just throw their hands in the air in utter frustration and decide that divorce is the answer.
A time out or temporary separation gives you breathing room and, more importantly, perspective. If you take a step back from conflicts, your temper will calm down and all the difficult emotions that have been going around will finally calm down. You’ll begin to remember the best times you and your wife shared, and so will she.
The best gift you can give your wife if she asks for your space or time is to be compassionate when you give it to her. See this not as the beginning of the end of her marriage, but as the beginning of the best part of her marriage. Parting ways with each other, they will soon realize what each means to the other. It will also help you calm your emotions enough to get to a point where you can clearly determine whether it is possible to move toward a stronger, happier, and kinder marriage, or whether to make the separation more permanent. both your best interests. You will never know the strength of your connection with your wife unless you put her to the test and put your faith in her and in yourself to weather the storm.